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Page A4 / The Joan
De Arc Crusader / Wednesday, December 24, 2025
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Sugar-frosted memories: the
Top Ten breakfast cereals on Joan De Arc Avenue
By J. Bueker
The
importance of breakfast cereal to my childhood would be exceedingly
difficult to overstate. There was absolutely no variety of sustenance I
enjoyed more and from an early age I developed, with the aid of the
ubiquitous cereal advertising of the time, an encyclopedic knowledge of
pretty much the entire breakfast cereal market.
I retain a fond memory of the day my mother and I were shopping in the
cereal aisle at A.J. Bayless and were approached by a woman who politely
asked for my assistance in locating a breakfast cereal her son had requested
she purchase. I dutifully and methodically strode down the aisle, expertly
scanning the inventory, and at length concluded that the brand of cereal she
sought was not available at this particular grocery store. She thanked me
for my expertise and went on her way. Nobody knows breakfast cereal better
than kids and I was very well schooled indeed.
Each morning on Joan De Arc began with a visit to the kitchen cupboard
located directly above the stove, where our family cereal cache was
customarily stored. Typically we could locate at least two or three
different cereal brands available at any given time thanks to the varying
tastes of individual family members. The sheer variety of breakfast cereals
consumed at 3219 over the years is breathtaking in retrospect and the
following Top Ten list represents but a small fraction of the many brands
the Bueker family sampled during our residence on the street.
10. Fortified Oat Flakes
My sister Sue developed an
exceptional fondness for Post’s Fortified Oak Flakes and her insistence on
having this cereal in the house led directly to my own infatuation with the
brand. One of only two non-frosted cereals to make the Top Ten, Oat Flakes
offered its own perfect little touch of sweetness that greatly enhanced the
cereal’s uniquely delicious oaty flavor and texture. Advertised as a
high-nutrition cereal “more nutritious than oatmeal,” Fortified Oat Flakes
was just an excellent product in every respect and it’s puzzling indeed that
Post inexplicably chose to end the cereal’s run in the 1980s. Arguably the
yummiest non-sugar-coated cereal ever produced and one of the most luscious
breakfast cereals of any kind. Ever. |
9.
Cocoa Puffs
Chocolate flavoring was a
natural inevitability for kid-centric cereals and several notable examples
emerged over the years including Cocoa Krispies and later Count Chocula and
Cocoa Pebbles. My supreme favorite though was always General Mills’ Cocoa
Puffs, those delectable little chocolatey corn-puff orbs hawked endlessly on
TV by the sublimely annoying Cuckoo bird mascot called Sonny. The cereal was
promoted for many years as being flavored with genuine Hershey’s cocoa, a
nice way of subliminally suggesting a bowl full of candy. Of course, one of
the lovely bonuses of chocolate cereals like Cocoa Puffs is enjoying the
residual chocolate milk left in the bottom of the bowl after the cereal has
disappeared. I imagine we were all cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs at one time or
another. |
8.
Quisp and Quake
Quisp and Quake represent a
true milestone in kids’ breakfast cereal history. Ingeniously conceived by
Quaker as rival brands within the same company, the Quisp and Quake duo
arrived in 1965 and I vividly recall the very day the Buekers first
encountered the pair on the cereal shelf at Bayless. We were utterly
gobsmacked by the marketing genius of it all: the boxes of Quisp were
cleverly labelled as “The only cereal better than Quake,” while the converse
message was conveyed on the Quake boxes. Sheer retailing virtuosity. The
characters of Quisp and Quake were apparently intended to personify the two
extremes of human spatial experience, with Quake the rugged miner dwelling
underground while the puckish Quisp was a sprightly visitor from outer
space. As for the actual quality of the products, both were delish
corn-and-oat concoctions that were oddly indistinguishable in flavor.
Despite this commonality, Quisp proved to have considerably more consumer
appeal and Quake was sadly discontinued in 1973. |
7. Alpha-Bits
Post Alpha-Bits introduced a
genuinely new dimension to the childhood morning meal. Rendering cereal
shapes into letters of the alphabet was a marketing masterstroke that
instantly transformed breakfast into something not only more fun and
interesting but even beneficial to a kid’s cognitive development and
language skills. The cereal hence became just as appealing to parents as to
their sugar-addicted offspring. The product was pressed into letters and
then exposed to a flash-cooking process known as "gun-puffing." The
resulting “bits” had just the right degree of sweetness and were uniquely
tasty for such a relatively basic oat and corn cereal. Alpha-Bits was also
one of a handful of Post cereals with actual records on the boxes for kids
to cut out and play on their dad’s hi-fi. What could be better than digging
the Jackson 5 during your yummy morning munch? A-B-C-Delicious indeed. |
6. Cheerios
There are solid reasons to
regard Cheerios as the definitive kids cereal of the 1960s. While
non-sugar-coated, General Mills’ famous brand was heavily marketed to
youngsters throughout the decade and decisively established itself as an
omnipresent fixture on American breakfast tables. In uncountable advertising
spots featuring a parade of popular cartoon characters of the day, Cheerios
was tirelessly pitched to us young’uns as a virtually supernatural source of
seemingly infinite energy. Rocky and Bullwinkle, Tennessee Tuxedo, the
Cheerios Kid and many others methodically drilled the slogan “Big ‘G,’
little ‘o’ … go with Cheerios!” into our impressionable little brains.
Ultimately though the staying power of this cereal is attributable to its
innovative manufacturing process and superbly flavorful oat taste, and thus
Cheerios continues effortlessly to reign as a staple American foodstuff. |
5.
Sugar Sparkled Rice Krinkles
I was never a huge Rice
Krispies fan despite its status as one of the most familiar breakfast
cereals in the history of the universe. Of course, I would happily enjoy a
bowl of the snap, crackle and pop if that’s what was available, but the
sugar-laden versions of crispy rice cereal are what I truly loved and Post’s
Sugar Sparkled Rice Krinkles was the masterpiece of the genre. This cereal
was made with a unique sugary glaze that conferred a subtle toasty vanilla
flavor and perfectly complemented the crisped grains of rice. The Krinkles
boxes were adorned for years with one of those delightful ethnic characters
that eventually fell from favor as being politically incorrect, and thus
So-Hi the charming little Chinese boy would join Injun Orange and Frito
Bandito on the sidelines as an obsolete product mascot of the mid-1960s.
Apparently some parents also voiced concerns that the name “So-Hi” was a
covert reference to illicit drugs. I’m just cynical enough to suspect it
was. |
4. Sugar Frosted Flakes
Yes, Kellogg’s Sugar Frosted
Flakes are nothing more than their famous Corn Flakes with an added sugary
coating, but there is something inherently magical in this combination. Tony
the Tiger’s jarring “They're Gr-r-reat!!” slogan lives on as one of the most
memorable and effective advertising pitches in history, but the simple fact
is this cereal when drenched in milk is eternally delicious. As kid cereal
brands became increasingly sophisticated and gimmicky throughout the ‘60s
and into the ‘70s, the relatively humdrum Frosted Flakes continued to retain
its place of enduring eminence. Frosted Flakes will always be a popular
cereal; they are timeless. |
3. Trix
Trix was one of my favorite
cereals from a very early age and I felt genuinely traumatized in 1969 when
General Mills abruptly introduced “New Trix.” The cereal’s original formula
with its traditional flavors of raspberry red, lemon yellow, and orange
orange was retained, but for some reason the company opted to change the
cereal’s shape from the fruity little corn-puff balls we all knew and loved
into an outlandish sort of football-shaped button. This bizarre change was
heralded with a cool new box design, but I was deeply dismayed that the
powers-that-be could just randomly change one of the supreme breakfast
cereals of all time in such a reckless manner simply as a cheap marketing
ploy. Happily, the new version of Trix was not well received by the
cereal-eating public and General Mills quietly restored the cereal’s
original shape soon thereafter. Silly rabbits. |
2. Cap’n Crunch
Legend has it that Quaker
had already decided to create both a cereal and an animated character named
Cap’n Crunch long before they ever bothered to decide what the cereal would
be like, besides being crunchy of course. “Stays crunchy even in milk”
became the product’s indelible tag line, although the common observation was
that the stuff tended to turn to mush fairly rapidly. However, I quickly
fell in love with the brown-sugary-caramel-like flavor of those little
pillow-shaped pieces of sweetened corn and oats, and with my propensity for
rapid food consumption, the Cap’n rarely had time to lose his crunch. The
later addition of Crunchberries initiated an interesting new flavor
combination, but the original Cap’n was always this boy’s preference. |
1. Froot Loops
And so we come to Kellogg’s
famous Froot Loops, which reign supreme as my all-time fave bowl of sugary
goodness. Opening a fresh box of the Loops on a Joan De Arc Saturday morning
is one of my most exquisite of breakfast memories, that incomparable fruity
aroma quickly permeating the family room and activating my salivary glands
in anticipation of their peerless fruity crunch. Froot Loops was conceived
as a replacement for an underperforming Cheerios knock-off called OKs and
first appeared on grocery shelves in 1963, the very year the Buekers arrived
on Joan De Arc. I was a bit disillusioned some years later to learn that the
“cherry, lemon and orange flavors” of the cereal are but a clever ruse – the
different colored Loops in fact all share the same exact flavor. In any
event I was certainly not alone in my love for Froot Loops, as they were no
less than Archie Bunker's favorite cereal on "All in the Family." If you
somehow disagree with me and Arch then I might suggest you stifle yourself
dingbat. |
Honorable Mention
Super Orange
Crisp
We certainly enjoyed our
fair share of Sugar Crisp (later Super Sugar Crisp) on Joan De Arc, but in
1973 Post rolled out an extraordinarily weird spin-off version of the brand
that I absolutely loved: Super Orange Crisp. Relatively short-lived but most
unforgettable, Super Orange Crisp was nothing more than your standard Sugar
Crisp with some peculiar orange-flavored cereal rings added to the mix. The
resulting product was advertised as containing more Vitamin C than a glass
of orange juice, but in any case the flavor combination was categorically
unique. Surviving examples of the Super Orange Crisp box are unbelievably
valuable and difficult to obtain, and are generally considered the holy
grail for vintage cereal box collectors. |
Puffa Puffa Rice
A pleasingly palatable
puffed-rice cereal, Kellogg’s Puffa Puffa Rice featured an exceptionally
smooth texture and a syrupy brown-sugar sweetener that produced a genuinely
singular flavor. There was really no other cereal quite like Puffa and it
rapidly rose to prominence as one of the more popular cereal brands at 3219
in the early 1970s. Puffa Puffa Rice was originally marketed with a
Polynesian theme that featured volcanoes, ocean scenes and palm fronds on
the box that was later replaced by a train motif with puffs of smoke
emanating from the engine as a play on the word “puffa.” Apparently the
cereal wasn’t quite as popular with the rest of the country as it was at our
house and Puffa Puffa Rice suddenly disappeared from store shelves without a
trace in 1975. |
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Carl Bueker’s Famous Burned-butter
Popcorn recipe
By J. Bueker
My father was
nothing if not thrifty and the man’s fabled financial restraint was nowhere
on better display than in the Bueker kitchen. The Sunday
morning Carl decided to make potato pancakes from an instant mashed potato
mix immediately and thenceforth became joined with Joan De Arc legend. He
was quite sure this idea would work and I watched with quiet fascination as
the man spent about 45 minutes trying to get the resulting goopy batter to
achieve adequate cohesion to form a recognizable pancake before finally
abandoning the effort with a few choice curse words mumbled under his
breath. Carl Bueker did not find it acceptable to waste any food that he
thought might still be marginally edible and that brings us to our lovely
Joan De Arc recipe for this issue: Carl Bueker’s Famous Burned-butter
Popcorn. ‘Twas a
Sunday evening at 3219 in the early 1970s and dear old Dad was keen to enjoy
a big bowl of hot buttered popcorn with his television fare that night, as
was often his custom. Unfortunately, Carl’s attention to the butter melting
in the saucepan on the stove wavered at a critical juncture and the
resulting liquid turned out to be, shall we say, a bit overdone, taking on a
decidedly umber hue.
Father had the option of course to
simply dispose of the burned butter and melt a fresh chunk for the popcorn,
but his instinct to avoid wasting food proved overwhelming in this instance.
With a simple shrug of his shoulders Carl Bueker poured the murky brown goop
onto the freshly popped corn and thus was Bueker family history made. The memory of
that bowl of blackened greasy kernels haunts me still. Did I sample the
tainted popcorn myself that night? I honestly can’t remember now, but I’m
thinking I probably did. My instinct to eat any available snack food was too
an overwhelming one.
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Carl
Bueker’s Famous Burned-butter Popcorn
1/2 Cup
Popcorn kernels
2-3 tablespoons oil
4 Tablespoons
butter (or margarine,
which is probably more historically accurate)
1 Tablespoon
Salt (adjust to taste)
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Pop
the popcorn in a suitably sized pan. In saucepan carefully overcook the
butter/margarine using medium-high heat until a rich dark brown, but
take care not to burn too severely. Profuse black smoke emanating from
the sauce pan is probably a sign that the butter has been burning for an inadvisably
excessive length of time. Add burned butter to freshly popped corn, salt,
and serve with a glass of cold Tip Top lemonade. Enjoy.
Nutrition
Facts (1 cup):
Carbs 5g,
Protein 1g, Fat 2.7g, Saturated Fat 3g, Oxidized Fat 0.5g, Cholesterol 5mg,
Dietary Fiber 1g, Calories 100.
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JDA
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