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Page A2 / The Joan
De Arc Crusader / Monday, December 25, 2023
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“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.” – Voltaire
Letter from the Editor
Learning to
love Christmas in Phoenix
by J. Bueker
I spent my
first four Christmases in a strange and remote land sometimes referred to
as “Michigan,” and while I do retain some tenuously wispy memories of
those long-ago Yuletides, they seem now to belong to an entirely different
lifetime in an alternate reality. Our family departed that distant realm
exactly 60 years ago this year, but a few scattered impressions from our
old home still persist.
For one thing they had
this remarkable form of frozen water back there that blanketed the
outdoors during the colder months, rendering the white landscape that
seems so inseparable from conventional notions of the Christmas season.
Meanwhile in Phoenix we’re lucky if we get a bit of cloudy drizzle and can
see our own breath on Christmas Day. Yet our new home in Arizona did offer
some nice seasonal recompenses if you looked closely enough; we gradually
perceived some distinct advantages to enjoying Christmas in the desert.
Of paramount importance, unencumbered by the
snow and ice, we kids could more easily play with our new toys on the big
day. That shiny new bicycle Santa left under the tree is of limited
utility in a frozen environment with icy streets and slippery sidewalks.
The warmer weather also meant that we were free from the burden of wool
coats, heavy jackets, gloves and annoying scarves as we rollicked through
the neighborhood with our new Man from U.N.C.L.E. gear.
Another key advantage to being in Phoenix at Christmastime was the
presence of our grandparents Howard and Lois, who hosted a series of
sublime Christmas Eve gatherings that would become one of our family’s
most treasured holiday memories from the 1960s. Virtually all the
Christmas photos I have from my childhood were taken at Grandma’s house on
Christmas Eve, which is nice, although I do wish Mom and Dad had taken a
few snapshots at home on Christmas morn.
One
conspicuous Christmas sacrifice that resulted from our move to Phoenix was
the traditional chimney and fireplace, of which 3219 was bereft. This led
to the deeply perplexing issue of how Santa would now gain access to our
living room to deposit his goodies, and such a troubling conundrum was not
so easily resolved. My father however rose to the occasion quite
admirably, cleverly ad-libbing that Santa obviously climbs in the window
at homes where a chimney is sadly unavailable. This turned out to be a
perfectly plausible and convincing explanation for a deeply concerned
5-year-old.
Overall though, Surrey Heights
proved to be a pretty nice setting for Christmas festivities. We had great
neighbors, lots of kids, a terrific school, a wonderful little shopping
center, and in sum, ‘twas just a splendid time and place in which to make
merry. I can’t imagine a single thing for which I would exchange any of
those Joan De Arc Christmases, not even that festive frosty winter
wonderland we left behind all those many Christmases ago. Especially not
for that! Merry warm and sunny Christmas!
Maybe we’ll see our breath this year.
_______________________________
A fond and
Frank farewell
"Educating the mind without
educating the heart is no education at all." -- Aristotle
Sahuaro
School early on acquired a notable and enduring reputation for its stellar
faculty and staff. Why so many first-rate educators were drawn to this
time and place is an inexplicable but very happy accident of fate that
benefitted countless children in our neighborhood over the last sixty-odd
years. This past summer, one of the most highly acclaimed and memorable of
these gifted educators sadly departed from us.
Where to even begin. A master teacher of power and precision, Nancy Frank
arrived at Sahuaro in the fall of 1961 and quickly established herself as
an innovative and resourceful instructor with an absolutely inexhaustible
work ethic. Yet she was so much more than this; Miss Frank mentored and
inspired countless Sahuaro teachers over the years and became equally well
known for her enduring care and concern for her students, with whom she
would maintain contact for many years after they left her classroom. Nancy
Frank exemplified the equal importance of a teacher’s mind and heart.
When Miss Frank finally retired in 1993 after 32 epic years in her Sahuaro
classroom, she immediately prepared her encore performance. Continuing her
work at Sahuaro as a volunteer, she logged over 3000 hours as a tutor for
OASIS, a national education and service organization. Nancy ultimately
signed on as Volunteer Tutor Coordinator, training up to 20 adult tutors
each month. In 2009, she was awarded a coveted Award of Excellence from
the National Retired Teachers Association for her tireless volunteer work.
What a legacy. The ultimate role model, Nancy Frank expertly educated both
the minds and the hearts of countless Sahuaro students for over four
decades and prepared countless other teachers to do the same. An
extraordinary educator and human being from start to finish, she long ago
earned our ceaseless amazement, gratitude and respect. Rest easy Nancy and
beautifully done, ma’am.
Only the Fabs
There is
but one rock band that could offer up a new hit single 53 years after
their sad dissolution. Guess which one. Just guess.
Released last month, “Now and Then” is surely not the greatest masterpiece
the Beatles ever bequeathed the world, but we find it a lovely little John
Lennon composition and a worthy addition to the greatest musical canon of
our lifetimes. A delicate and rather melancholy psychedelic ballad, the
song appears to comprise a loving and conciliatory message to Paul
McCartney—well, we like to think so anyway, and it’s as good an
interpretation as any. Paired with the Fabs’ very first single “Love Me
Do,” the new record furnishes us with fitting bookends to the band’s more
than illustrious career. Sixty years on, the Beatles continue to amaze.
There was a magical time long ago when the release of a new hit Rolling
Stones album and a new hit Beatles single were very routine occurrences.
That these things can still happen in the year 2023 though is quite
astounding and simply cannot be allowed to pass without comment. Time
waits for no one and of course it’s only rock ‘n roll, but we are very
pleased indeed to see that these blokes are not quite ready just yet to
let it be.
_______________________________
LETTERS
We welcome your letters at
jdacrusader@aol.com.
_______________________________________________________________
Chuck’s Handy-Dandy Guide to Retirement
You know, I’ve been retired for a few years now and I get a lot of
questions about retirement. Questions like: what’s retirement like? How do
I prepare for retirement? Have you heard about this stupid Medicare
Advantage plan? And, why don’t you get out of the way, Grandpa? This has
inspired me to write my very own retirement planning guide and I’m happy
to share it with you today. Let’s put on our reading glasses and get
started, shall we?
Preparing for retirement
You really can’t start preparing for your retirement
too soon and the moment of your birth is a great time to start. Denying
yourself any and all of the pleasures of life from an early age works
twofold: it allows you to funnel all of your available income into sketchy
investment schemes, and then prepares you for the lifestyle you might
expect as those investments invariably disappoint. Digital currencies,
NFTs and timeshare properties are great ways to gamble your money away,
and cat food is after all a great source of protein and rare-but-essential
animal organs.
Enjoying your retirement
So, you’ve put in forty or more years of hard labor
working for somebody that lives in a much nicer neighborhood than you and
then you find yourself forced out of a job because of your age.
Congratulations! Now you’ll have time to enjoy all of the many things that
take so much longer than they used to, things like standing up, or
remembering where you left your car keys/sunglasses/vital medications. And
don’t forget to take advantage of senior discounts on products you totally
need like TikTok memberships and childcare.
Tips and tricks
·
Don’t ever get sick. Seriously, you can’t
afford health care.
·
Driving down the street with one turn
signal on for no reason is the perfect way to let other drivers know that
you’re retired and deserve their respect. Be sure to stay well below the
speed limit because, hey, you’re in no rush!
·
Installing a Ring doorbell is a great way
to keep an eye on your lawn and you can even remotely yell at the kids who
dare walk on it, if you can just figure out how that feature is supposed
to work.
Well, that’s about all I have time for today. I’ve got to stand up
and find my car keys in a little bit. Here’s wishing you all Happy
Holidays and best wishes for the New Year, Twenty-whatever it is!
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________JDA
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