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Page A2 The Joan De Arc Crusader / Thursday, December 24, 2015 Front Page A1 / Sports A3 / Christmas Nostalgia A4 / Crossword A5
“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.” – Voltaire 50 Merry Christmases, Charlie Brown!
We’ve now had half a century to absolutely memorize
this thing. The psychiatric session in the snow, the expertly decorated
dog house, the snowflake eating contest, the chaotic Christmas play
rehearsals, the pathetic yet strangely intrepid tree that just needed a
little love. The solemn recital of the Nativity story and the true meaning
of Christmas. Those of us who watch the show every year pretty much know
it by heart. And somehow, some way, it just never gets old.
When “A Charlie Brown Christmas” premiered in December 1965, it
presented us with a deftly calculated study in contrasts. Simple yet
profound, secular yet religious, funny yet serious, joyous yet melancholy,
this amazing little holiday cartoon bravely explores issues in its mere 25
minutes of air time that are no less relevant today than they were 50
years ago: materialism, alienation, depression, and the power of
redemption. The show was carefully crafted to both entertain children and
touch the hearts of adults, and it succeeds brilliantly on both counts. It
may be an exaggeration to suggest that “A Charlie Brown Christmas” rises
to the same level of art as say “A Christmas Carol” or “The Night Before
Christmas.” But there is little doubt now that it will endure just as
those great works have.
The Crusader tips its hat to Charles Schulz, Bill Melendez, Vince
Guaraldi and all the other creative geniuses who gave life to this
timeless holiday classic those 50 long winters ago. It really never does
get old.
And so long as there are Christmases, it is very unlikely it ever
will.
LETTERS
Mom at Chris-Town?
My name is Steve Katzke. My family grew up in Phoenix and we now
reside in California.
Regards,
Steve Katzke Thanks for the
letter, Steve. We are sending you the highest resolution copy of the photo
we have. The picture was taken at the mall in 1968 and featured in an
Annual Report brochure issued by the mall that year. – Ed.
We welcome your letters at
jdacrusader@aol.com.
Mr.
Answer Man at your service
Well, my editor warns me that deadline is in about a half hour, so
I guess that means it’s time for another installment of Ask Mr. Answer
Man. That’s where I ask the questions I imagine you’d want to inquire
about and then answer them in the most annoying and condescending way
imaginable. Shall we begin? Dear Mr. Answer Man: My cat prefers “chunks and gravy” style wet food, but
only mostly laps up the gravy, leaving most of the chunks to dry up in the
bottom of his food bowl. Does
anyone sell just cat gravy?
It seems like there would be a big market for this product and someone
could make a fortune selling liquid cat food. Signed, Chunky Charles Dear Chunky, For a cat
owner, you seem to totally misunderstand the true nature of cats. Your
feline friend does this only to irritate you and if you switch the animal
to a gravy-only diet, he or she will only think of a more diabolical way
to disturb you. Be grateful that you only have to deal with dried bits of
tuna every day. Dear Mr. Answer Man: I have developed a novel new way to remove the chunks
from chunky peanut butter, rendering the product as smooth as silk. I
think my invention would be popular in multi-peanut butter households.
Should I spend the money to apply for a patent? Signed, Skippy Dear Skippy, What is
today, chunk day or something?
Yes, of course you should apply for a patent, as it’s the only way
to protect your idea from those who would steal it from you. I myself will
be applying for a similar patent related to the production of cat gravy in
the very near future, certainly long before this article ever gets
published. Dear Mr. Answer Man: Why do strangers keep coming up to my door in broad
daylight to slip business cards and flyers into the narrow gap between my
door and door frame so that when I open my door they scatter all over the
front porch and make me angry while picking them up and looking at the
names of the businesses and faces of the real estate agents with their
forced grins who I will never ever want to do business with ever, and in
fact would rather stab myself in the neck with a rusty screwdriver?
Why? Signed, Perplexed Dear
Perplexed, I have no
idea. Dear Mr. Answer Man: Let’s say I’m walking eastward down Main Street at 5
miles an hour while staring at my phone, updating my Facebook status, and
another individual, starting from two blocks away, heads westward down the
same sidewalk at 3 miles per hour while tweeting about her organic frozen
yogurt. Would it be better to collide in front of an Urgent Care Clinic, a
Dry Cleaners, or a Whole Foods? Signed, Chester Cheetah Dear Chester, Why not a
moving bus? Well that’s all the questions I need to bring my word
count up to par. We’ll see you next issue! _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________JDA
Front Page A1 / Sports A3 / Christmas Nostalgia A4 / Crossword A5 |
