As we observe the 40th anniversary of the Bueker's arrival in Phoenix today, we would all do well to take a moment out of our busy day to remember just how invaluable these folks were to the evolution of our beloved street.  Why, were it not for the Bueker clan, we might never have known how truly rewarding it can be to pronounce our children's names backwards.  We might never have encountered the concept of a "Happy Unbirthday" or a "Mr. Wonderful."  It might never have penetrated our collective consciousness that "Insa" is actually a plausible name for a cat.  Or that a basketball game could be called "Razzy" with a straight face. Or that any sense whatsoever could be made of an activity known as "time in, time out."  Or that a newspaper could, or even should, be named "Crusader."
    Such is the timeless legacy of this unforgettable family of destiny.  Remember them this day.

    Piestewa Peak it is.
    As our loyal readers are well aware, the Crusader opposed the hasty decision to rename Squaw Peak. We felt that such a momentous change should not be undertaken on the spur of the moment regardless of its arguable merits, or the inarguable valor of Lori Piestewa. Since the change now appears to be a done deal though, we have elected to jump squarely on the bandwagon and support the governor's decision in the matter. Let's face it, journalistic integrity has rarely been a hallmark of the Joan De Arc Crusader.
    However, we do remain concerned about the ultimate fate of the word "squaw." While some Native American experts insist that the word is an unsavory pejorative term that should be dispatched to oblivion without delay, others argue with equal passion that it is a perfectly honorable word.We feel that a good compromise on this issue might be to rename a somewhat lesser Phoenix landmark using the word "squaw." After all, fair's fair.
    We therefore propose that the former Chris-Town Mall be renamed from its silly, current appellation of  "Spectrum Mall" to "Squaw-Town." This would pay homage to the shopping center's original name while at the same time maintaining the word "squaw" as a part of our local culture and heritage.
    Squaw-Town. Has a ring to it, doesn't it? Just a thought.

    It is clearly imperative that all members of our community remain absolutely vigilant during the summer months to protect our children around water.  Accidental drownings remain a serious problem in the Phoenix area, and our neighborhood is certainly not immune to the potential for tragedy.
    But let us not stop there.  We must also monitor our children's behavior when they are swimming in the pools with our permission and under our watchful eye.  Kids being who they are, there are many other unfortunate possibilities for which to be on the lookout.  To be rather blunt, parents need to be aware of the signs of swimming pool unrinary dementia, or SPUD.  Many people-- including, sadly, some adults-- simply cannot resist the temptation to, in a word, wizz in the pool.
    Look for swimmers who suddenly develop a countenance of relieved satisfaction for no apparent reason, or perhaps a look of guilty embarrassment.  A sharp eye may discern a slight yellowing of the pool water in the immediate vicinity of a transgressor.  No pool owner should tolerate this serious threat to sanitary summer fun.  We all have a solemn responsibility to fight SPUD.
    Watch your kids (of all ages) around water! And watch the water, too.

by J. Bueker
    Twenty long years have now elapsed since the demise of Legend City, which just happens to be the precise length of time that the amusement park actually existed on the eastern fringe of Phoenix at 56th Street and Washington. In all that time, not a single serious entity has come forward to propose a replacement for our ersatz western theme park. Not a one.
    Sure, the exceptionally warm climate here presents unique challenges to the ultimate success of such an enterprise, and to be sure, this factor is most commonly cited as the final and inevitable nail in Legend City's coffin. 21st century technology, however, is almost certainly up to the task of meeting these formidable challenges. Creative air conditioning techniques and misting systems can go a long way toward keeping the crowds cool even on the hottest summer days, and assuming that there are worthwhile and exciting attractions to be experienced, the crowds will surely come. Water park style amusements would almost certainly be a prominent feature of any new park.
    But wasn't Legend City, in the final analysis, little more than a cheesy Disneyland rip off?
    You're damn right it was, and it was our cheesy Disneyland rip off. Hell, that was a big part of its charm. I suspect that nostalgic Arizonans would flock to a new incarnation of the park, if it were properly done. Furthermore, the numberless hordes that have descended upon the Valley since Legend City's day will naturally be happy to have a bona fide, year round amusement park to access for high quality fun, just as people in other big cities do. Castles and Coasters just does not cut it, I'm afraid.
    Phoenix is by far the largest metropolitan area in the known galaxy that remains bereft of a major amusement park in its midst. This can and will change, and I suspect that if we can resurrect the Cine Capri, then virtually anything is possible.
    The time for Legend City, an amusement park that clearly arrived way ahead of its time, may yet be at hand.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ JDA