by J. Bueker
(BP)- After forty odd years of residence on Joan De Arc Avenue, the Mitchell family has at long last gotten the genuinely nice neighbors that they have so long coveted. Earlier this year, the Nelson family moved next door to the Mitchells at 3237 and have proven to be a "dream come true" for the long suffering Bill and Helen Mitchell. "They aren't renters, for one thing," reports Helen. "And they're a nice, professional couple. Extremely friendly. We couldn't be happier!"
    "No account renters" have become an increasing blight on the neighborhood in recent years, at least in the Mitchells' estimation, neglecting their homes and leaving lower property values on Joan De Arc Avenue in their wake. "It's been a real problem, but now things are looking up a bit," observed Bill Mitchell. "We've waited a long time to see such a positive change around here."
    The Nelsons are the latest in a long line of residents to occupy the house directly to the west of the Mitchells, beginning ironically with Whitey and Arlene Nelson in the 1960s. The Mitchells have endured loud music, cars parked on the lawn, unattended animal poop and quite possibly the greatest indignity of all, being turned in to the authorities for having excessive plant growth on their own property. "We received a letter in the mail from the City of Phoenix telling us to trim back the plants on the west end of our yard," explained Helen. "And those plants were already dead!" Bill and Helen reluctantly complied with the city's directive, but the ordeal has left a lingering sense of bitterness that may be difficult to ever fully dispel.
    The Mitchells have known a long series of "fairly nice" and "not too objectionable" people on Joan De Arc over the years, including families such as the Buekers, Dickeys, Russells, Nelsons and their still extant neighbors to the east, the Smiths. Apparently however, none of these admittedly agreeable folks have quite met the lofty standards that Bill and Helen Mitchell have so assiduously maintained all these years in spite of the overwhelming adversity that they have so patiently endured. At long last they have the truly high quality neighbors that they have so long awaited and most assuredly dearly deserve.
     "You just don't know what it's been like," declared Helen, rolling her eyes skyward.

by J. Beaver
    The Joan De Arc Crusader has announced its recent acquisition of a rare map of the long lost Legend City amusement park, which once stood at Washington and 56th Sts. near the Phoenix-Tempe border.
    Crusader CEO John Bueker received the map last December as a "totally unexpected" Christmas gift from his wife Susan after he himself had procured the rare document on the popular eBay Internet auction site. Bueker immediately donated the map to the Crusader archives in Peoria, out of his strong sense of historical preservation and unmitigated altruism.
     The map was purchased from an anonymous collector in upstate New York, and was found to be in less than perfect condition, being heavily folded and suffering from a few minor tears along its edge. The Crusader has paid to have it professionally mounted and framed, and the refurbished map now graces the lobby of the Crusader archives annex. It can also be viewed on the newspaper's Legend City web site at www.joandearcavenue.com.
     "Yeah, there are only believed to be several thousand of these babies still in existence," said the clearly gratified Bueker. "We were exceedingly fortunate to get one at all. I very rarely even go on eBay."
    The newspaper has reportedly made several attempts to purchase a copy of the map, including an offer of cash to an intransigent U-Haul employee in exchange for a copy hanging in his east Phoenix U-Haul outlet. "The guy actually valued his job more than he did our devotion to preserving Phoenix history," marveled Bueker. "What an ass."
    The Legend City map offers a full color topographical representation of the park as it originally existed in the early 1960s, framed with some amusing cartoon drawings around the edges that depict families enjoying various fun activities that were offered during Legend City's early years. The date "August 1963" is stamped on the back of the map, thus providing a very accurate indication of its age.
    Legend City first opened in 1960 and closed in 1983. The site was purchased and the park razed by the Salt River Project to make space for its new corporate headquarters, which opened in 1991. By all accounts, the SRP buildings are not nearly as much fun as the amusement park was.
    Admission to the Crusader archives is only $5.00 for an all day pass. Hours are from 12:00-12:30 every other Saturday.

by J. Beaver
    JPB Publishing Ltd., publisher of The Joan De Arc Crusader, last month established an Internet forum at Delphiforums.com for the purpose of providing Joan De Arc residents past and present with a platform in which to share memories and exchange ideas regarding our street. The forum resides at Delphi, which is a discussion board web site that boasts approximately 100,000 active forums and over 4.5 million registered users. After many months of consultations, intensive research and exhaustive study, the Delphi online community was finally selected, in Crusader CEO John Bueker's words, "because it's free."
    The forum also includes a chat room option for live online discussions. This feature has not as yet been utilized due to the small number of JDA forum members to date, but it is expected to be a popular part of the Joan De Arc Avenue forum experience as membership rolls increase.
    The Joan De Arc Avenue forum is private, but is available to all current or former residents of Joan De Arc Avenue, as well as to anyone else interested in discussing 60s and 70s Phoenix nostalgia. Anyone interested in visiting and posting in the forum may register by contacting the newspaper at jdacrusader@aol.com.

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