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Page A2 The Joan De Arc Crusader / Saturday, May 1, 2010 Front Page A1 / Nostalgia A3 / Crossword A4
“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.” – Voltaire
Bring back those May Day flowers
Hail bounteous May that dost inspire -- John Milton
The observance of May Day in America is far less prominent than once it was, and we find this state of affairs lamentable. The happy traditions of children hanging May baskets on their neighbor’s doors and dancing gleefully around the Maypole have faded in recent decades, significantly diminishing our culture thereby. A revival of this dear little holiday strikes us as a pleasantly worthwhile goal. The origins of May 1st as a day of festive celebration date back at least as far as ancient Rome. Always fond of revelry, the Romans held one of their favorite feasts of the year at the beginning of each May, paying dutiful worship to Flora, the goddess of flowers. The Roman armies carried the custom with them to the British Isles, where the ideas of the Maypole and the selection of a May queen evidently evolved. The festivities of May Day flourished in merry old England for centuries until the Puritans, opposed in principle of course to anyone actually enjoying life, put a temporary end to the rites in 1644. Inevitably, the merrymaking was revived and May Day ultimately found its way to America. There was a memorable period during the late 1960s when Joan De Arc kids enthusiastically embraced the traditions of May Day, gathering flowers from one neighbor’s yard and then arbitrarily depositing them on another neighbor’s front porch. Although generally frowned on at the time by Avenue parents, who disapproved of their rosebushes being stripped and their porches strewn with dead flowers, the ritual persisted for several years and is still recalled with considerable fondness by this newspaper. Springtime is traditionally viewed as a period of rebirth and renewal, a metaphor for happier times ahead. In this spirit, the Crusader encourages the current generation of Joan De Arc children to take up the mantle of May Days past, and renew the obscure traditions of their youthful predecessors from so many years ago. After all, would it really hurt anything to steal a few of your neighbor’s flowers and then disperse a handful of petals on their porch? We’re thinking no. As ever, it’s the thought that truly counts. Mr. Milton would surely agree. Let’s bring those May Day flowers back to Joan De Arc Avenue.
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LETTERS
Kimmy Sue checks in
Sure wish I could have made it to the Joan De Arc Reunion. I have some very fond memories from there. I have one of us making fake blood and laying someone under a bike in the road to scare unsuspecting traffic. I don't think anyone ever noticed, but we put a lot of effort into this. I know my brother Chris Dickey, Mark Wells and I believe you were the instigators on this. I was only six at the time, so the memories are a little fuzzy forty-two years later. My favorite memory is of my dad laying in the front yard and tackling several children at one time. He always played with us until I would get hurt and my mom would make us stop. I enjoyed the evenings when all the parents would gather in a front yard to visit. Your mother would let me curl her hair. She was very patient and obviously not tender headed like my mom. Your mom was also in charge of judging our neighborhood art contests. Awesome lady. Thanks for the memories!
Kim Dickey Wimberley
Setting the Halloween record straight
I recently read in the fall edition of the Crusader an article featuring Halloween traditions on Joan De Arc. While most of that article represented an accurate history of our childhood Halloween celebrations, I must dispute one point, and add another. I most certainly did participate in Halloween trick or treating. I always dressed as a beatnik, along with Pattie Krohn, because that was cool. The amount of candy I gathered was of less importance, since I could always snag something from Barbie's stash when she wasn't around. Also, do you not recall
the haunted houses in our garage? Barbie and I came up with things like bowls of
soggy toilet paper and overcooked spaghetti (guts and brains) to scare you guys
with after we blindfolded you and made spooky noises at you. Those were great!
The Crusader apologizes profusely to Ms. Strommen for the misunderstanding. We had no idea at the time that the beatnik get-up was actually a costume. – Ed.
The Crusader welcomes your letters at jdacrusader@aol.com ________________________________________________________________
Chuck’s
Corner Okay, finally…. Open Channel D
I’m not going to lie, maintaining a Man from U.N.C.L.E. sleeper cell for these last 42 years hasn’t been quite as exciting as it might sound. In all this time I haven’t seen a single new weapon disguised as a fountain pen, garden tool or even an ashtray! It was all worth the wait, however, when last month I was finally activated for the Joan De Arc reunion lunch. I filed the following report with U.N.C.L.E. headquarters, but for some reason it was marked “address unknown” and returned by the post office. I’m pretty sure that’s a special code that means the contents are now considered declassified, so I’m posting it here for your reading pleasure.
Report Number: 2010-001
Reporting Agent: Illya Kuryakin, aka Chuck Bueker (Note: People would expect Illya to be short, blond and good-looking. My disguise was perfect.)
Other U.N.C.L.E. Agents Present: Napoleon Solo (John Bueker). Beth Ann and Patty Humphreys were both totally cool, so I’m guessing that they’re with the good guys, too.
General Observations: Reunion participants were evaluated for anti-American activities and potential THRUSH affiliation.
The Mitchell girls, Julie (aka Lefty) and Kathy (Ladmo) are well known THRUSH agents (see Man from U.N.C.L.E lost episode “The Toilet Paper Affair.”) Julie didn’t fool me for one second with her “needlework.” It was all photo-realistic perfection on one side, a tangle of code words and state secrets on the other. Sorry Mr. Ahmadinejad, but your artwork won’t be arriving after all.
Sue Bueker Strommen is also a known THRUSH agent. Why wasn’t Barbie Bueker Formichella present? Could it be that THRUSH doesn’t allow two such high ranking envoys to appear at the same event? That’s my guess.
Barbara Stewart, mother of Chuck and John, also mother to Sue and Barbie. Barbara is clearly a double agent and should not be trusted anywhere within 100 yards of a Glamour Stretcher.
Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson, Jean Humphreys, Konnie Russell, Hazel Dickey (aka “The Parents.”) None of these people have aged since the ‘70s. Did THRUSH have android technology this early on? I highly recommend a metal detector be made available for the next meeting.
And then we have the Nelson girls. Any secret agent worth his salt knows that women this pretty can’t be trusted under any circumstances. I’m going to make it a special point to keep an eye on these two, it’s the least I can do for my country. Same thing goes for Patty Russell and the Heskeths.
Conclusions: Further observations are warranted.
Well, I hope that I don’t get into trouble with U.N.C.L.E. for sharing my report. Then again, what’s Mr. Waverly going to do about it? He’s gotta be two hundred years old by now! Neener-neener, Mr. Waverly!
Chuck (Illya) __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________JDA
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